Saturday was one of those days in which I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off, doing ten different things at once, doing a pretty crappy job at all of them, definitely not finding any joy in any of them, of course being pretty miserable to be around (just ask my husband), and all the while complaining both to myself and aloud: Ugh, I just don’r have enough time!
Ever have one of those days? All because of this fear of not having enough (in this case, time).
But it’s not at all that I don’t have enough time. We have enough of everything we need, including time. It’s that I was clinging so tightly to my expectation of how my day “should” play out, imposing my will because I was afraid to admit that I am not in control, afraid to let the day unfold without resistance to what it was meant to be, afraid I wouldn’t get enough done to deem my day productive (and myself worthy, valuable, lovable), and as a result passing over countless moments of potential joy.
So, today I invite you to slow down. If this suggestion makes your skin crawl, trust me, I understand, and yet I think it is not only worthwhile, but also necessary to awakening. In her book, Taking the Leap, Pema Chödrön has some wonderful teachings on slowing down and the power of pausing, simply pausing, so I’ll let her take it over from here:
Our habit is to just keep moving, speeding, talking to ourselves, and filling up the space. But habits are like clothes. We can put them on and we can take them off. Yet, as we well know, when we get very attached to wearing clothes, we don’t want to take them off. We feel as if we’ll be too exposed, naked in front of everyone, we’ll feel groundless and insecure and we won’t know what’s going on.
…We could shake up our ancient fear-based habits by simply pausing. When we do that, we allow some space to contact the natural openness of our mind and let our natural intelligence emerge. Natural intelligence knows intuitively what will soothe and what will get us more churned up; this can be lifesaving information.
…When we pause, we also give ourselves the chance to touch in to our natural warmth… For each and every one of us, intelligence, warmth, and openness are always accessible. If we can be conscious enough to realize what’s happening, we can pause and uncover these basic human qualities.
Krystal Barschig 