The myth of scarcity is one that I learned very early in life, and in many ways it led me to live from a place of fear. I was competitive growing up — kind, but really competitive. I was a dancer and performer, so I was often competing for a role or to be granted that center stage position in the spotlight. Academically, I strived to be at the top of my class. In almost every aspect of life I was focused on winning and being “the best.” There is, after all, only one #1.
This is a fear-based mode of operation and habit that still creeps in, tempting me to compare and compete. Fortunately, I can now recognize when this starts to happen and pump the breaks before falling into that rabbit hole and losing myself completely.
I already see this same competitive tendency in my son, and it breaks my heart because what I want him and all of us to remember is that there is enough. There is enough space, love, attention, success for all of us. This is, of course, contingent upon your definition of success. If you define success by being the highest paid, most famous, most prolific whatever, well then quite honestly you may or may not attain that, and if you do it will be temporary, and it will not ensure happiness. If, however, your definition of success includes being fulfilled and peaceful, contributing whatever it is you are meant to give in this lifetime, and becoming the fully actualized version of your unique and true self, that’s success that we can each attain equally without winning or losing.
I’m finding that true joy comes not when we are center stage, alone in the spotlight, but rather when we are standing together, side-by-side, each in our own unique, equally radiant pools of light.
“There is… only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist… The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.” — Martha Graham
In his book, Emergence, author Derek Rydall writes about The Acorn Principle. Essentially is says that every single little acorn contains within it the perfect pattern and potential to become a big, beautiful oak tree that gives of itself in countless ways, from shelter, to food, to air, to more acorns and trees. The same is true of us — we each contain within us a unique blueprint and infinite, eternal potential. Our work comes in allowing this to happen and letting anything that is obstructing our growth into full being fall away. Everything we need is already here. It is our job to cultivate an environment in which we can root deeply while growing upward and expanding outward.
“You were born with a song in the seat of your soul; let the life that you live be the singing of it.” — LaShaun Middlebrooks Collier
When we compare, compete, or our egos start to shout, it is a sign that we need to bring our awareness back to our connection with our personal truth. You can do this anytime, anywhere by closing your eyes, finding stillness, and drawing your attention inward. Begin to separate from and watch your thoughts. Feel your breath. As your breath slows, your mind follows. Your attention and connection deepen inward, and everything else begins to fall away as you return home to yourself.
Krystal Barschig 