I find that, for myself, suffering in the form of hurt feelings or hurt ego is often the result of my attachment to an expectation, my projection of how I think things ought to be, which is all about control and fear of uncertainty.
We can practice releasing our attachment to expectation as a means of freeing ourselves from this suffering by being totally present. Our expectations live in the future, and the mourning of our expectations not being met live in the past, both of which take us out of the here and now, the reality of what is. This present moment is where we want to live because that’s where all of life happens.
“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Meditation practice
You can practice right now, in this very moment. Close your eyes, turn your attention inward, align your physical body, and begin to arrive wherever you are. Bring your whole self, exactly as you are into the room (or wherever you happen to be), into this moment.
Your body settles into stillness. Your mind may be following suit, or it may still be racing a million miles a minute. Either way, take notice. Breathe.
Arrive and bring your whole self into the room, and all the things, the thoughts, the stories and worries swirling around (which are not you), can kindly wait outside the door. When they sneak into your consciousness, give them a little nod, say, “Hey,” and then usher them right back out the door.
“If you miss the present moment, you miss your appointment with life.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Breathe and be with yourself in the present moment. If the present moment feels sublime, relish in it because damn, it feels good to feel good. If the present moment feels uncomfortable, you can say to yourself, “This is really freaking uncomfortable!” And that’s as far as you have to get today — acknowledging the discomfort. You don’t have to eloquently describe it, dissect it, or resolve it. Just notice the discomfort, and then draw on your courage to stay… and continue to breathe. Or if you’re feeling like you’ve got it in you to get curious about this particular flavor of discomfort, go for it — inquire and explore — but you don’t have to.
As you meditate, let everything that is not your true essence crumble and fall away. Your soul, your Truth is steadfast; it will remain and does not need to be held onto. It’s all those other impermanent, insecure things that we think are part of us that we grab ahold of and cling to so tightly. Release your grasp, and rest.
Remember that an any point in your day you can pause, find stillness, bring your awareness back to your breath, the present moment, and your appointment with life.
Krystal Barschig 