Though I’ve not cracked the book open in 20-25 years, this passage came to mind when I was thinking about LOVE as tomorrow is Valentine’s Day:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
This well-known passage from the Bible states all these things which LOVE is and is not, does and does not, but before all else: “Love is patient…” So I’d like to explore patience as an expression of LOVE — patience with ourselves, others, and situations in which we find ourselves.
What is the opposite of patience? Impatience, right? What is impatience really? When I experience impatience I feel agitated and wish things were either happening otherwise or at least moving at a different speed (faster). But impatience is not only dissatisfaction with the way things are, impatience is resistance to, denial even of what is, to the present moment.
What then is the antidote or cure for impatience? More patience? Well, to me the word, patience, carries the same tone as the word, tolerance, and tolerance says that despite the wrongness of the other or the situation, I’ll swallow how I really feel, suffer in silence, and bear this nonsense. But the word, acceptance, (as opposed to tolerance) implies really receiving, embracing, even actively choosing that other thing rather than half-heartedly resigning to it.
So, I’m going to argue that the opposite of/antidote to impatience might not be patience, but rather presence, surrender, and probably a dash of gratitude for good measure. (Yoga… when in doubt, the correct answer is always gratitude.)
In the book, Living Your Yoga, author Judith Hanson Lasater contends that there is no such thing as patience. In other words, you’re either in flow with the way things are, which is to say in sync with the speed at which life is happening, or you’re not and instead wishing things were otherwise and operating from the belief that you know better (than God, the Universe, science — whatever it is you believe determines how things go), that you know how your life, this situation, or even this moment is “supposed to” play out, and that time is being wasted.
But really we have no freaking idea how, when, or even if things are “supposed to” work out at all. We certainly have strong feelings about how we want things to turn out and stubborn personal agendas (Hello, attachment. Hello, ego.), but we have no clue what’s actually going to happen from one moment too the next, what’s in store for us tomorrow, nor how it all pans out in the end.
Beneath this frustration of wasted time and at the root of impatience, lies fear — fear that we are missing out on something better and more important, fear that our lives are not amounting to enough, fear that we’re not doing or accomplishing enough, that we are not enough.
And so, here’s the medicine: LOVE — deep self-love by way of remembering our unconditional worth and our unbreakable wholeness. Yes, are you worthy of receiving loving gestures from the outside-in and the inside-in, but moreover, you already consist of LOVE. It is at your core; it is your natural state. No matter how near or far it feels, how disconnected or lost you might feel, it is always right here, accessible in this very breath.
Krystal Barschig 