Among the many things this global COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic is offering us is an onslaught of opportunities to practice pausing, turning inward, listening to our inner voice, and choosing to do what is right for us. Each time we engage in this practice of introspection and deep listening we fortify our relationship with our true self and deepen the trust we have in our inner voice.
I cherish those times when I can hear my inner voice, loud and clear. I am notoriously indecisive (Or maybe it’s just that I’m overly empathetic? No? Hey, it was worth a shot!), and man do those undeniable, thundering messages help make decision-making so much easier when they come through over the loud speaker. But to be completely honest, sometimes I turn inward and I don’t hear my inner voice. WTH?! Did it take a vacation and forget to tell me or something?!
I teach and know that our inner voice is always there and always talking to us, but in truth I have a hard time hearing mine sometimes. I swear I go through all the prescribed steps– pause, get quiet, ask for it to guide me in making this tough decision, listen… the whole bit. But sometimes when I go in hoping to find my soul peacefully perched at a podium, speaking eloquently and clearly, instead I happen upon a congested convention of freaked out folks flinging around “facts” and fighting each other. Who even are all these people? Who invited them here? And don’t they know they’re supposed to raise their hand before they speak?! Needless to say, I emerge further confused, unsure about which one of those multitude of voices is mine and which are memories or imaginations of others’ voices.
And so I am super grateful for all these recent opportunities to practice going in and listening. Over the past few weeks some of the messages from my true self have been crystal clear and I know exactly what to do right away. Piece of cake — draw upon my bottomless well of courage and follow through. Next? Other times I go inward, emerge just as flustered and confused, and then I go back in. Well, maybe I try googling the answer next, but ultimately I surrender to the fact that I must go back in. There I get to practice sitting right in the middle of that feeling of sweaty, panicked stress and uncertainty and from right there notice my body, mind, and breath. I get to practice connecting to my power and exercising agency by choosing to slow my breath and let it drop into my belly. I get to practice moving through anxiety and witness myself survive it. I get to practice working from the inside-out (sitting meditation, thoughtful contemplation, and writing, to name a few) and the outside-in (mostly in the form of yoga asana, running or walking outside, and wild, spirited dancing in my kitchen these days), top-down (mind-body) and bottom-up (body-mind) as a way of returning home to my true nature of peace.
Even when I don’t hear it, I know my inner voice is always talking to me. I also know that with practice I can re-pattern the false pathways forged from years of ignoring, silencing, discounting, and mistrusting my true voice while believing those people/forces/thoughts which told me it was wrong or even non-existent. I know that I can rediscover those original, unadulterated, instinctively traversed trails that undoubtedly guide me to my Truth, and I will be free.
To be free is to live in Truth.
That freedom is right here. It’s yours for the taking reclaiming. It is in the next choice you make. It is in the next breath you take. The last two lines of the Metta Prayer read: “May all beings awaken to the light of their true nature. May all beings be free.” In the name of freedom and in honor of the well-being of ourselves and all those around us, let’s keep practicing, one breath, one choice at a time, okay? Let’s use this time which may feel uncertain, confused, and pervasively fearful to practice turning inward, attuning to the sound of our own inner voice, making our way home to clarity, peace, and love.
We have SO got this. Take care of yourselves and each other.
Krystal Barschig 